In the beginning, I wasn't there. I don't think the Ancient Greeks were, either. Nobody had a pen and paper to take notes, so I can't vouch for what follows, but I can tell you it's what the Greeks thought happened.

  At first, there was pretty much nothing. A whole lot of nothing.

 The first god, if you can call it that, was Chaos---- a gloomy, soup mist with all the matter in the cosmos just drifting around. Here's a fun fact for you: Chaos literally means the Gap, and we're not talking about the clothing store.

 Eventually Chaos got less chatoic. Maybe it got bored with being all gloomy and misty. Some of its matter collected and solidified into the earth, which unfortunately developed a living personality. She called herself Gaea, the Earth Mother.

 Now Gaea was the actual earth---- the rocks, the hills, the valleys, the whole enchilada. But she could also take on a humanlike form. She liked to walk across the earth---- which was basically walking across herself---- in the shape of a matronly woman with a flowing green dress, curly black hair, and a serene smile on her face. The smile hid a nasty disposition. You'll see that soon enough.

After a long time alone, Gaea looked up into the misty nothing above the Earth and said to herself: "You know what would be good? A sky. I could really go for a sky. And it would be really nice if he was a handsome man I could fall in love with, because I'm kind of lonely down here with just these rocks."


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